So I've been thinking a lot about the past year and all I have gone through. Lots of crazy stuff! Giving birth, placing him for adoption 13 days later, having the privilege of an open adoption, people talking about "our adoption", school, work....SO MANY THINGS!!!!
One of the things that has really irked me this year is how people keep saying that I'm spoiled because I get to see Zad a lot.
I'M NOT SPOILED!!!!
QUIT SAYING THAT!!!!
I'm here to say that what Steve, Angie and I have, our relationship, is real. They love me and want me to be happy and succeed. I know this with all of my heart.
I'm in a good place in my life and they see that. I know that when I need them, I can call on them and they know that if they need anything from me, they can call on me. When they need a babysitter, I babysit. They don't always call me to do this. There are other people who do it as well. If I hadn't have chosen them to be Zad's parents, we would still be friends.
We have so many things in common, as do our families.
I'm tired of people telling me that it's so nice that I still get to see him.
!!!DUH DOOFIS!!!
You think I don't know that! I'm the one who chose to place him so he would have an eternal family because I didn't know when I could provide that. When I do get married and have children of my own, I don't know how often I will be able to see him. Things in their life could change and I don't know how often I would get to see him. I'm taking every chance I can right now to see him. Some people may think that because I get to see him more than other birth mothers get to see their children that it hurts less. No it doesn't.
Plain and simple, it doesn't.
My caseworkers have been been awesome through this whole process. I don't know what I would do without Sharon and Audra in my life. They have helped to let me know that it is hard and that I can get through this. The Lord will surely bless these women for helping birth mothers through this process and being there for them when we need it. Audra had to go to Georgia for 6 months, so Sharon is pretty much in charge of all of the birth mothers and has done a wonderful job spreading the love. I love you two!
I'm not going to apologize to anyone for how this has turned out. If the Lord didn't think it was right, then it wouldn't be this great.
This is a scramble to read and now I'm done.
I love the Owensby's!
5 comments:
I think you such an amazing woman Norma, You are truly one of my hero's someone i look up to. You have so much love dor mr. zad and i love how open your adoption is. i think its so great. I know things arent always easy but I love you and think your great :)
Most of the time when people say stupid, irritating things, it's because they don't know what else to say. And I don't think people mean to to be irritating in telling you you're spoiled. I just think that a lot of them - birth moms, for instance - would give anything in the world to have what you have with the Owensbys, and that they might think it hurts less for you because they think it would hurt less for them if they had the same degree of openness.
I know sometimes I hate going to group because my adoption is so much less open than everyone else's, and as a result when I do go I say stupid things on accident. I'm sorry if I irritated you when I called you spoiled. I didn't mean to. I'm just jealous.
I love you, Norma. You are awesome.
Hey Norma! What everyone needs to remember also is that you have had time to develop this relationship with the Owensby's over the last year, and as it turned out you and Angie (being of the same age and maturity) get along great and have a lot in common! That isn't the case for a lot of adoptive moms and the birthmothers of their children. Steve & Angie are just cool like that, there aren't a lot of people as down to earth as the three of you are!
I miss everyone, it sounds like poor Sharon has her hands full so I'm praying she doesn't burn out before I get back! Heck I just miss home, my friend texted me a picture of her food at Elmer's yesterday...mmmmm....Elmer's. You ever go there? She said it smells like High School.
Norma, I don't think you are spoiled. I think you are blessed and I am happy for you. Congratulations on starting culinary school. I think you are amazing!
Susan
I love that you are so happy! Your relationship with Steve and Angie and how real it is reminds me of our relationship with Chelsea, too. I agree with your comment, "If the Lord didn't think it was right, then it wouldn't be this great." I think you are amazing and I love to read your blog, Norma~
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