Viva Las Vegas!!!

Every year in Vegas there is an Awards and Recognition Association (ARA) Convention and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to go! It is so much fun to see all of the new products and to see the vendors. Also, you can get a lot of cool stuff for free. I always bring home a big bag of stuff that I really don't need or want, but because it's free I can't pass it up!! My coworker Connie is going with me so it will definately be a fun time.

I have three places that I really want to go besides the convention, the Jean Phillipe Patisserie in the Bellagio, the M&M Store and the Coke Store.

WORK

I went back to work today. I was fine until I was about a mile away from work and it hit me. I started crying thinking about how I was moving on and how scared I was. I did it though. I was busy at work so I didn't have a lot of time to think about crying. It was good to go back. I love my job and was happy to get back into it.

Simple Minds, Simple Pleasures...

fluffy towels

peanuts on a plane

sleeping at 3:30 am

fancy chocolates

pictures

blog hopping/stalking

pillows

texting

a smile

carbs

pastries

emails

nice pens

The Pictures

I got the cd from Angie and Steve today!!! I can't wait to print them!! Here are some of my favorite...( I hope I can pic just a few, there are 88 of them!!)

The Finalization

Today I signed the final papers for the adoption. It was a little hard but I felt good about it. My mom, Monica and the twins got to spend some time with Zadok before we finalized everything. (Gina and Drew weren't able to come today.)Here are some pics of the day...

Three cousins~Liahona, Zadok and Levu

He's gotten darker in the last week.

My mom and Zad

My sister Monica and Zad

Zad and I. He finally opened his eyes for a little bit. I think they are going to be light, maybe hazel.

cali

It has been wonderful here on Coronado Island. My aunts and uncles have made this vacation a great one. We've been shopping and site seeing, we had a weenie roast on the beach last nite and just vegged out. I am really thankful that they invited me to come with them.

One cool thing, except at nite, was we were right in the flight path of the base. The jets would fly just about right over the house and REALLY low. Going over the bridge to get to the island is one of my least favorite parts. I'm not too keen on heights. It's beautiful tho.

I also found something out about my brother, Paul, that I didn't know about. Uncle Rod told me a story of when we were in YM/YW and we came to the naval base. We were on our way to Point Loma and there's a military graveyard there. Jeff Kleinman had said something about all of the people buried there and my sweet brother gave Jeff a lesson on the ressurection. Paul told Jeff about how just their bodies were there and one day they would all rise again.

It's been 11 years since Paul died and I still think of him everyday. Especially these past few weeks. I talk to him often and hope he is proud of me. I can't wait to see him again. I love you brother!

Hmmm...

So, this has been a busy weekend! On Friday morning I went to the dr who told me I couldn't go to California because my blood pressure was a little too high. I was bummed but at the same time excited because I was going to see Zadok that night. My mom and I went to Steve and Angies and talked and had dinner. It was so good to see all of them. Zad is getting so big. He still puckers his little lips which I love! Well, when we got in the car I asked my mom if she would drive cause my eyesite was doing wierd things. I knew the "wierd things" meant my bp has high but I wanted to see the baby so I waited til after to say anything. We drove straight to the er and had a fun night there. After my treatment I asked if I was okay to go to Cali and he said YES!!! We got home at about 1:30 am and went to sleep.
Monica's little boy, Levu, got pretty sick on Sat so we took him to Urgent Care then they sent us to the er. His fever was quite high and he couldn't keep anything down. So we were there most of the day Sat. He's doing a lot better now but he did scare us for a little bit.
So that's my weekend in a nutshell. I gotta go wash and pack. YIPEE!!

They are up!

So some of the pics that Steve, Angie, Zad & I took the other weekend are up on Jen, the photographer's blog. They are so AWESOME!! Go check em out! You will have to scroll down.

Angels Among Us

I realized that I had no pictures of these angels up!!! This is the wonderful couple, Steve and Angie, who adopted my son and became a part of my family. They have taken such good care of him, and of me. I found some angels walking among us and I will love them forever!

Edit**Okay so after I put this up, I saw that it was already up. My rememberer is broken. BUT that is okay. I would put their pic up every day but that might get strange. I'm still not taking it down.

Pictures

Angie has friend who is an awesome photographer and she came down from Utah this past weekend to take pictures of Zadok, Angie and Steve. They invited me to come up to their house to be in the pictures as well.
Well, last nite at about 10:20 Angie called and said the pictures were up! I was sooo excited! She told me how to go to them and when I opened them, I started balling! They are so beautiful!! I had been preparing myself to wait for about a week and *POOF* it took only a couple of days!!
Jen is an amazing photographer. As soon as I can I will put some up.
Thank you for including me in these wonderful pictures. I love you all.

Where Can I Turn For Peace?

Throughout the last couple of weeks, I have often heard my baby sister Monica humming this song. How grateful I am that we have a loving Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that we can turn to in some of our most darkest times.

I have been carried through the last week and half when I needed it the most. I have been able to get through the days and nights knowing that my Father in Heaven and my Big Brother Jesus Christ are right by my side walking with me.

Where Can I turn for peace
Where is my solace when other sources cease to make me whole.
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart, searching my soul
Where, when my aching grows,
Where when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand He, only One.

He answers privately, Reaches my reaching,
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind
Love without end.

My first visit!

So I just came back from my first visit with with Steve, Angie and baby Zadok. He has changed quite a bit since Monday night! We went to Abuelo's at 11 and left at 3. I held Zad the whole time and was happy that I got to kiss and hug him. Thank you so much for this time Steve and Angie. I can't wait for our next meeting! Don't they look cute!

And we do too!

"The Little Heartbreaker"

He finally opened his eyes for me after deciding for awhile.

Can I be TOO excited???

So tomorrow is the day I have been waiting for since Monday. I get to go to lunch and see Steve, Angie and Baby Zad!!! I can't wait!

Now to Zadok Paul Owensby

So on Sunday the 25th, it came to me that my baby Quinton was meant to be with another family. This, as you can imagine, was very hard for me to digest. I knew what I had to do and on Monday, Audra from LDS Social Services came to my house. I had looked at some couples on the website itsaboutlove.org and found a biracial couple that looked and felt right. Audra called them and we met that night. We talked and after they left, I felt they weren't the ones to raise my baby. A few days went by and on Friday, Audra called and suggested I look at a couple named Steve and Angie. I went onto their profile and read about them and their family. I asked to meet them and at 7 that night they were at my door. They came in and I asked some questions and their answers were just what I wanted to hear. When I asked if they wanted to hold the baby, they both jumped to the edge of the couch with their arms wide open. I gave Q to Angie and she looked so sweet with him. After awhile, Angie gave him to Steve and that was a wonderful site. This big tall blonde white man holding this little dark haired baby was beautiful. He was so gentle with him. We wrapped the interview up and hugged each other and said our goodbyes.
Audra called and said Angie's parents were in town and maybe we could meet them the next day, Saturday. I called Angie and we made a breakfast date for the next morning at 10. My mom, Quinton and I arrived a little after 10 and were greeted by Angie, Steve, her mom and dad, and her brother and sister-in-law and their 3 children. I felt the love this family had for each other the moment I stepped in. I asked Angie if she wanted to feed Quinton and she said yes. So we ate and she fed him and her mom asked if she could take pictures of him. We got to learn a lot about the family and their history. It was like we had known them forever! Angie gave me a tour of the house and I told her that I didn't want to leave. I just felt at home there. They gave me a wonderful book, For The Love of a Child: The Journey of Adoption, and each wrote a little note to me.
As we got ready to leave, I felt that this was the family that my Quinton was supposed to be a part of. They loved him already and I was just there for a visit! As we left the whole family waved and watched as we drove away. My mom tells me that she loves this family and I tell her that I love them too and that this is his eternal family. We get about 2 miles down the road and decide to turn around and tell them the wonderful news!!! I felt like I was floating as we were driving. I told my mom that as soon as they see the car, they will know. We pull up and I get to the door nervous as I have ever been. Angie answers and tells me we left the burp rag there. I ask if Steve is around and she calls him in and I get to tell them the most amazing news...
"You are his family".
The look on their faces and the tears in their eyes told me what I had just done for them. I loved this family and knew that they already had a love for my son. Her parents came out from the kitchen and we all hugged and cried and talked a little bit more. We decided to do the placement on Monday nite at 6. They came out and hugged my mom before we left. On the way home I cried. More for the excitement that was to come than out of sadness. I also had to call and tell my sisters the great news. They were so happy for me and for Steve and Angie.

Quinton Paul Villareal

On Janury 20th at 1:34 pm I delivered a beautiful baby boy by c-section. I was in the hospital for a few days and was excited to bring this sweet spirit home. Nothing can prepare you for motherhood! NOTHING! But getting up in the middle of the nite to feed and change my little boy was so wonderful. We all fell in love with over and over again. Even my nephew Drew fell in love with "Q". The first time he saw him he got a HUGE smile on his face and gave Quinton a hug. It was so sweet. He loved the "bebe". Here are some pictures of my Quinton...