Awesomeness in Chocolate

At school I had to do an amenity project out of chocolate, so I decided what better way to represent adoption than in CHOCOLATE!!!!!

I traced Zadok's handprint and filled it with white chocolate. I made 3 of them because his fingers kept breaking. I finally got smart and made the hand thicker and then reinforced the cute chubby fingers from the back with more chocolate.

I had so much fun doing this project and I got an "A"! My chef loved the way it flowed and how personal it was to me.

Late...but still....Birthmother's Day 2010

This Birthmother's Day the Owensby's and I went to Fajitas. Just like we did last year. This year though, I realized I wasn't so nervous about it. Last year it was all new to me and I didn't really know how to act around them. This year, well this year was different. I wasn't nervous and just acted like myself. It was great! Here are a few pics from that day. They bought this shirt from the r house couture and I absolutely adore it!!!

We took a pic like this last year. I think it should be part of the tradition.

He bonked his melon earlier in the day and got a raspberry looking bump on his forehead.

Long Time No See

Oh I have been so busy lately! The Wilkins came down this weekend for a funeral and I was able to play with Drew and Beau, who by the way are such big boys! They are so fun to play with.

School has been keeping me busy as well. I can't tell you all how much fun I am having. I haven't been this happy in YEARS!!!!!!! I am in Meat Fabrication and Saucier right now. This means that I am fabricating meat, fish and poultry and I am making many different stocks and sauces. The next class I go to is Advanced Baking. WOOHOO!!! I can't wait!

The past few weeks, while I was alone, was hard. The twins moved and my mom went to help with it. I had too much time to think of how sad I was that they were gone. I prayed that the Lord would help me and how quickly my sadness went away. I still miss them a lot, but I know I will get to visit them soon. Monica and Kali send pics/videos all the time so I can see how big they are getting.

Zadok is getting so big! He's walking all over the place and loves the cupboards full of stuff to take out. He gives great kisses! His hair is gorgeous as well. That little man brings me so much joy! I am so thankful that I found his momma and daddy and that we have such an awesome relationship. I couldn't ask for more from Steve and Angie.

Friends...How many of us have them?

I have "friends" and then I have real friends. Ones that care about me and want me to be happy. My "friends" are gone from my life because I don't need them talking about me or my real friends and I don't need to keep coddling them. So they are GONE!!!! I'm off to a better life!

Honesty

I have decided to share more of my honesty

with the world...

to be continued.........

New Routines

My routine for the last couple of years has been go to sleep between 9-11, wake up at 7:30 am, get ready and leave by 8-8:15, be to work by 9, leave at 5ish, get home by 6ish, play with the twins, play on the computer, watch tv and go to bed again.

On February 6th, I started a new routine. I go to sleep between 7:30 and 8:30, wake up at 5 am, get ready and leave by 6, be to school by 7, start at 7:30, leave between 2-3, get home between 3-4, play with the twins, do homework, maybe cook something new, and go to sleep again.

I LOVE IT!!! I have never been much of a morning person but going to school and being in the kitchen first thing in the morning is AWESOME! It's so much fun, a lot of hard work, but fun.

The first day of class was like an orientation, the second and third day we were in the kitchen with our brand spanking new awesome knife set learning cutting techniques. Then on Friday, were cooking!!!!!!

Here's a list of what we have made in the last 3 weeks:

Glazed Carrots

Braised Cabbage - I am not a fan of this

Mushroom Duxelles

Spinach Salad and Dressing

Caesar Salad and Dressing

Vinaigrette

Mayonnaise - not a fan

Court Bouillion

Au Gratin Potatoes

Duchesse Potatoes - AWESOME!

Potatoes Anna

Rice Pilaf

Risotto - Loved, Made a Mushroom and Brie Risotto

with Baked Chicken for the fam

Polenta - Loved

Tomato Sauce

Alfredo Sauce - Loved! Made a Fetuccini Alfredo Dinner

for my family and The Owensby's.

Pesto Sauce

White Stock

Brown Stock

Espagnole Sauce - not a fan

Demi-Glace

Bechamel Sauce

Mornay Sauce

Soubise Sauce

Veloute Sauce

Supreme Sauce

Allemande Sauce

Hollandaise Sauce

Buerre Blanc

Red Bell Pepper Coulis - Very good

Marchands de Vin Sauce

Robert Sauce

Chasseur Sauce - So Lovely!

Port Cherry Sauce - Gross

Bernaise Sauce

Next week we start off with soups and on Wednesday we learn to fabricate fish. Gross. I am so not looking forward to it. We will be playing with round fish, flat fish, mussels, clams, oysters, shrimp and lobsters. I haven't ever liked fish, but decided that maybe I will start trying it at school. It's free and if I don't like, I throw it and don't feel bad. I tried Mahi Mahi with a mango salsa the other day and was pleasantly surprised. It was good.

The Vent

So I've been thinking a lot about the past year and all I have gone through. Lots of crazy stuff! Giving birth, placing him for adoption 13 days later, having the privilege of an open adoption, people talking about "our adoption", school, work....SO MANY THINGS!!!!

One of the things that has really irked me this year is how people keep saying that I'm spoiled because I get to see Zad a lot.

I'M NOT SPOILED!!!!

QUIT SAYING THAT!!!!

I'm here to say that what Steve, Angie and I have, our relationship, is real. They love me and want me to be happy and succeed. I know this with all of my heart.

I'm in a good place in my life and they see that. I know that when I need them, I can call on them and they know that if they need anything from me, they can call on me. When they need a babysitter, I babysit. They don't always call me to do this. There are other people who do it as well. If I hadn't have chosen them to be Zad's parents, we would still be friends.

We have so many things in common, as do our families.

I'm tired of people telling me that it's so nice that I still get to see him.

!!!DUH DOOFIS!!!

You think I don't know that! I'm the one who chose to place him so he would have an eternal family because I didn't know when I could provide that. When I do get married and have children of my own, I don't know how often I will be able to see him. Things in their life could change and I don't know how often I would get to see him. I'm taking every chance I can right now to see him. Some people may think that because I get to see him more than other birth mothers get to see their children that it hurts less. No it doesn't.

Plain and simple, it doesn't.

My caseworkers have been been awesome through this whole process. I don't know what I would do without Sharon and Audra in my life. They have helped to let me know that it is hard and that I can get through this. The Lord will surely bless these women for helping birth mothers through this process and being there for them when we need it. Audra had to go to Georgia for 6 months, so Sharon is pretty much in charge of all of the birth mothers and has done a wonderful job spreading the love. I love you two!

I'm not going to apologize to anyone for how this has turned out. If the Lord didn't think it was right, then it wouldn't be this great.

This is a scramble to read and now I'm done.

I love the Owensby's!